Before you get into a relationship…


For those of us that are single, we often come across instances where we don’t know whether someone we’re dating is compatible, if they’re going to be in you life for a season or a year, if they will change after this honeymoon stage, etc. My point is that we have thousands of questions and concerns running through our minds because we don’t know what will happen and we want to make the best decision of what we do know. It’s complicated, it sucks, it’s life. More often than not, I see those around me (including myself), stuck in this limbo stage where we don’t know where a particular relationship is going and we begin to question what they have to offer. My question to you is, what do you have to offer?

I’ve found myself questioning if a certain person was suitable for me based on if they had a degree, had a career, knew what they want, and all that jazz. What I soon realized is that this “list” can become cumbersome when you’re actually in the process of dating, or even when you actually get into the relationship. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t have standards, but I am saying that you need to be flexible. Think of it this way- do you really think you have all the qualities that the other person is looking for? Truth is- probably not. They’re essentially doing the same thing on their end to evaluate how you would fit into their life. You’re not perfect, I’m not perfect, but it’s the imperfections in someone that may make them “perfect” for someone else. It’s relatively easy to get caught up in assessing others before you assess yourself, but it all starts with you. A strong and healthy relationship starts with two brave people who are willing to sacrifice anything for one another. A relationship is not 50/50, it’s 100/100. If you’re not putting forth a 100%, then you cannot expect the same from the other person. For me, 99% is as good as nothing… and not just in a relationship, but in life. You need to be able to embrace the person within and accept who you are, but with that mentality you need to be able to apply it to someone else. Accept that others aren’t going to be perfect, but if they can make you happy like no one else can and you’re able to understand one another- you’re golden. Here a couple suggestions that I have before getting into a relationship:

  1. Do work on yourself before you get into a relationship.
  2. Be patient. Get to know you.
  3. Tear up the list that you have. Get rid of the list of who you think you need. You either get into a relationship with a list, or a person; not both.
  4. Love is an endeavor of faith and long- suffering. Sometimes relationships fail because we get caught up in the image of a relationship versus the reality of it. We have to accept people for who they are.

Have a blessed weekend!

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