The inspiration for this post actually came from a fellow blogger of mine, Bruna, who recently wrote an article about her story entitled, “My name is Bruna and I’m deeply flawed” (I know I know, way to get real creative with the title of your post Christian). For many of us, we rely on numerous avenues in order to vent our emotions and thoughts. Some of us might go for a run, others might speak to family members, friends, or a significant other. Fortunately for myself, I have a myriad of options which helps me get things off my chest. Today, it’s writing.
Some of you may know me, some may know of me, and some may actually can care less who I am, but the intention of this post is to really let you know a little bit of who I am and I commend those of you who are taking the time out of your busy days to read this. Today, you are my therapist whether you like it or not. You’re welcome. (Yes Ginger, I stole your line).
I don’t want this to come off as an autobiography but I’m certain that it will somehow transcend into something similar.
I’m an only child and I was raised by royalty. I’m sure most of you are assuming that by “royalty” I was referring to riches, right? Right. However, not the riches that you may be acquainted with. My parents were, and still are, rich with love which is by far more valuable than anything that money can by.
“Some people are so poor, all they have is money.”
I was blessed enough to come from two of the most compassionate, loving, supportive and understanding parents that anyone could ask for and I definitely could not be where I am today if it weren’t for their guidance and brutally honest advise that I never wanted to hear, but needed to hear. I’ve always struggled with feeling accepted, whether it be at school, amongst my peers, or even within my family and I never could understand that feeling since I’ve always had the most amazing friends and family. When people chose to walk out of my life, I somehow subconsciously blamed myself for their decisions and it always baffled me as to why I would think something so preposterous. It wasn’t until I actually had a conversation with my mother a couple years back that I was able to identify where this feeling was being stemmed from- I’m adopted.
I was raised with the mentality that I can have anything that I can want. Anything you name it, I was always empowered to go get it. Who else would stop me? What do I have to lose? I find that the majority of time we have the tools in order to be successful, but we let ourselves get in the way of what we want. Granted some of us face steeper obstacles than others, but I’ve also found that opportunities are rarely offered and more commonly seized. You really have to assess where your time is being spent and how you can allocate more time and energy towards what you want. Whether it be a college degree, a career, a new pair of shoes, or even a significant other. Depending on how much you want something will be solely dependent on how much time you invest in it. You should always consider yourself as the exception and not the rule.
“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”
Like most of us, we’ve fallen in love, fallen out of love, broke hearts, had our hearts broken, thought something was there when it really wasn’t and so forth. For those of you that have known me long enough to know all the women I’ve been in a relationship with (4- this number is debatable. Don’t ask.), know that I’ve accepted how things unfolded as each relationship came to an end. Some people hold grudges, some try to seek revenge, some are bitter, etc., but hate in your heart will consume you too. I’m actually glad that I dated women that were completely wrong for me and I would encourage you do the same. Why? Because now you know what you don’t want which may be as valuable if not more valuable than knowing what you do want. Go out with someone unexpected and see what happens. You could fall in love with that one quality that you never really noticed. You might be surprised at just whom you fall for. Even if you end up turned off and bored with the person, at least you have a funny story to tell. According to the book, “The Secret”, you attract whatever you put out into the world, so go out there with an open mind and you might actually be that person that someone else falls in love with. The law of attraction never fails.
“Life is not about weathering the storm, it’s learning to dance in the rain.”
Don’t let anyone be your anchor. The older we get the more susceptible we become to growing apart from those that you were once close to. This is typically rooted from what you value as opposed to what others value. I know for myself, I have friends that are still concerned about what club they’re going to this weekend or what person they’re hooking up with tonight and that was once was me (hard to believe huh? Ok, maybe not). I don’t knock them for having those motives but that just isn’t the person I am anymore. That was a phase in my life where I didn’t know who I was nor did I know what I wanted so all those things were just ways to cover my insecurities. What I slowly realized is that those were just bandaids and did not provide an actual solution. What I consider a perfect night out is dinner and drinks with friends at a low key restaurant followed by reading and a glass of vino to end the night. I’m definitely an old soul. I know. I get it. If you want something and it’s not of the norm or is not accepted by your peers, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t have it. If what you want is in the open seas, swim out to get it with or without people by your side. Life is too short to be anything but happy and you need to able to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.
I was actually going to suggest 20 things you should do in your 20′s but elitedaily.com actually wrote an article earlier this month that pretty much aligns with what my thoughts were. Here they are and I’ve also provided the link receive additional clarification.
- Be you.
- Eat whatever the f*ck you want.
- Date someone completely wrong for you.
- Do something completely for thrill, maybe more than once.
- Keep moving.
- Travel the world.
- Love your parents, thank and repay them.
- Spend good, quality time with your family.
- Mend the open wounds.
- Meet a sh*t ton of new people.
- Make unforgettable memories.
- Continue to follow your dreams.
- Be a sponge.
- Pick up a new hobby.
- Don’t dwell on the negatives.
- Give back.
- Cherish the people that have always been there.
- Trust only a few.
- Live in the moment, without fear or expectation of the future.